Rejection Cake

Some of us in the lab have experienced multiple rejections lately. Grants not funded, jobs not offered, fellowships not awarded, papers and conference submissions getting the big thumbs down. So we took some time last week to celebrate our rejections . . .
We even improvised a little ceremony to help ourselves get some perspective on the rejections. Each person who had something rejected was invited to take three candles, and we passed around a lighter as we reflected on a few things.

Lighting the first candle, we took a moment to be compassionate toward ourselves. It sucks to be rejected. We worked really hard on these submissions and applications. Being judged like that hurts. It's frustrating and disappointing, and it makes you feel like giving up. We deserve some kindness and understanding.

Lighting the second candle, we took a moment to have compassion for the decision-makers: The reviewers of our grants and papers, the editors and program officers, the people who made the decision to reject us. It's natural to feel angry at them, but their decisions against us weren't personal. They are scientists like us, volunteering their time . . . time that could be spent on their own work. For no money and no credit, they are working hard to make other people's research better (including ours). They have experienced rejection too, in their careers. Probably more than we have (with the exception of Prof. Sarnecka) because they've been doing science longer. And we know that in the future, we will also review things; we will also reject papers and grants and job applicants. We will be in their position, as they have been in ours. They deserve our understanding.

Lighting the third candle, we took a moment to have compassion for the people who succeeded where we failed. The people who got the grants instead of us, who got the jobs instead of us, whose work got published instead of ours. They are scientists like us. We are all on the same side, working not against each other but against ignorance and misunderstanding. We are all Team Science. When other scientists do good work, it benefits everyone, including us. And so although we don't know these people, let us hope that they will be happy doing this work. We hope that they will encounter no difficulties, problems or failures along the way. And when they do run into trouble (as everyone does) we hope that they will have the patience, understanding and determination to meet and overcome it.